CIA Friends & Family Eavesdropping Plan

The Borowitz Report offers some exclusive information on the CIA Friends & Family Eavesdropping Plan:

In a sign that the Bush administration intends to ratchet up its program of domestic surveillance, the Central Intelligence Agency today announced that it was offering what it called a “Friends & Family” eavesdropping plan.

Under the new plan, American citizens would reap significant discounts for long-distance calls in exchange for permitting the CIA to listen in on all of their conversations.

With many Americans unhappy with their current long distance service, the CIA hopes that consumers will decide that having a CIA agent listening in on all of their conversations is a small price to pay for fewer dropped calls, which the CIA’s eavesdropping plan promises.