W Explains Social Security

W’s explanation of Social Security proposals made my brain hurt:

Because the—all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There’s a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those—changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be—or closer delivered to what has been promised. Does that make any sense to you? It’s kind of muddled. Look, there’s a series of things that cause the—like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate—the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those—if that growth is affected, it will help on the red. [Tampa, Fla., Feb. 4, 2005]

“Muddled” is an understatement… :-p

The Flu Sucks

Those of you that are regular visitors to DrikoLand have probably noticed a lack of posts this week. Well, I’ve been suffering from the flu since last Saturday, and I’m finally starting to feel better today. Hopefully I’ll be back to posting regularly soon…

Baby Got Book

Check out Baby Got Book, a hilarious spoof of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Baby Got Back (AVI movie file link on page). Here’s the opening lyrics:

I like big Bibles I can not lie,

You Christian brothers can’t deny,

When a girl walks in with a KJV

And a bookmark in Proverbs, you get stoked.

Too funny… 🙂

Scientific Truth In Product Labels

Scientific Truth In Product Labels is pretty damn funny; here are some of my favorites:

  • WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.
  • READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.
  • ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.
  • IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.

I’m such a geek… 🙂

White House Press Shill

It’s bad enough that the White House has been paying “journalists” to promote its conservative agendas under the guise of objective reporting, but that’s not all. Boston.com reports that

the Bush administration has provided White House media credentials to a man who has virtually no journalistic background, asks softball questions to the president and his spokesman in the midst of contentious news conferences, and routinely reprints long passages verbatim from official press releases as original news articles on his website.

Jeff Gannon, a “correspondent” for “TalonNews.com,” is a fraudulent shill, and I can’t believe that no one has called the administration on this. The bad thing is, I’ve gotten so used to such bullshit that this didn’t surprise me one bit…