Try Mixilator, a “Random Cocktail Generator.” Here’s my first try:

Debilitated Yakama Cocktail

Chill cocktail glass. Prepare as follows:
In pre-chilled cocktail shaker combine
* 3 oz 151 proof rum
* 1 tsp. papaya nectar
* 1 tsp. aromatic bitters
* 4 drops apricot liqueur
Shake with ice cubes as if you were suffering a super-acute attack of ague and Saint Vitus dance combined.
Strain into chilled cocktail glass.
Carefully deposit coffee bean on drink surface.

That doesn’t sound too bad…

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