Today’s Borowitz Report is hilarious. I must say that his column is one of the few consistently funny ones I’ve come across.

America West Worst does it again. A pilot and co-pilot were arrested for operating an aircraft under the influence of alcohol. So much for trying to gain back the people’s trust and work on their image. America West is most infamous for having stranded children two separate times recently. I personally have nothing but horror stories to tell about all of the flights that the government forced me to take with them. But seriously, trying to sneak “coffee” through security and getting arrested while taxiing (!) because you are basically DUI? C’mon!