In a stunning development, Borowitz Report reveals that W, frustrated with the current situation in Iraq, has "constructed a mock-up of the 'Jeopardy!' set in the basement of the White House" in order to obtain answers from Ken Jennings, the record-winning champion of the game show 'Jeopardy.' Topics include "Angry Shiites," "Ruptured Oil Pipelines," and "Massive Power Outages," but according to White House sources one topic was particularly troublesome for the champ:

According to those who saw Mr. Jennings play the special Iraqi version, the champ breezed through most of the questions but was stumped when he got to "EXIT STRATEGIES" for $100.

"The most likely outcome of the war in Iraq, this should happen by the end of 2005," Mr. Trebek read.

"What is civil war and total chaos?" Mr. Jennings guessed.

"No, I’m sorry," Mr. Trebek replied. "The correct question is, 'What is a thriving Middle Eastern democracy and a beacon of hope for the entire region?'"

How fitting that the end of Jennings' reign should come at the hands of W, arguably the polar intellectual opposite of the Jeopardy champ... ;-p