{"id":13670,"date":"2005-02-03T23:09:00","date_gmt":"2005-02-03T23:09:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/2005\/02\/03\/scientific-truth-in-product-labels\/"},"modified":"2005-02-03T23:09:00","modified_gmt":"2005-02-03T23:09:00","slug":"scientific-truth-in-product-labels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/2005\/02\/03\/scientific-truth-in-product-labels\/","title":{"rendered":"Scientific Truth In Product Labels"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.netfunny.com\/rhf\/jokes\/91q1\/prodwarn.html\" target=\"_blank\">Scientific Truth In Product Labels<\/a> is pretty damn funny; here are some of my favorites:<\/p>\n<blockquote>\n<ul>\n<li>WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them.<br \/>\n<\/li>\n<li>READ THIS BEFORE OPENING PACKAGE: According to Certain Suggested Versions of the Grand Unified Theory, the Primary Particles Constituting this Product May Decay to Nothingness Within the Next Four Hundred Million Years.<br \/>\n<\/li>\n<li>ATTENTION: Despite Any Other Listing of Product Contents Found Hereon, the Consumer is Advised That, in Actuality, This Product Consists Of 99.9999999999% Empty Space.<br \/>\n<\/li>\n<li>IMPORTANT NOTICE TO PURCHASERS: The Entire Physical Universe, Including This Product, May One Day Collapse Back into an Infinitesimally Small Space. Should Another Universe Subsequently Re-emerge, the Existence of This Product in That Universe Cannot Be Guaranteed.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/blockquote>\n<p>I&rsquo;m such a geek&hellip; \ud83d\ude42<br \/>\n<\/p>\n<div class=\"byline\">via <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dashes.com\/anil\/\" target=\"_blank\">Anil Dash<\/a><\/div>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1\" height=\"1\" src=\"https:\/\/blogger.googleusercontent.com\/tracker\/3501955-110735559649329861?l=www.driko.org%2Findex_blogger.html\" alt=\"\" \/><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Scientific Truth In Product Labels is pretty damn funny; here are some of my favorites: WARNING: This Product Attracts Every Other Piece of Matter in the Universe, Including the Products of Other Manufacturers, with a Force Proportional to the Product of the Masses and Inversely Proportional to the Distance Between Them. READ THIS BEFORE OPENING &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/2005\/02\/03\/scientific-truth-in-product-labels\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Scientific Truth In Product Labels&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[118],"class_list":["post-13670","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-imported"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13670","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13670"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13670\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13670"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13670"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.driko.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13670"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}