As you might have heard, the Kansas Board Of Education is poised to set back scientific progress by centuries and “tentatively approved new state science standards that weaken the role evolution plays in teaching about the origin of life.” The whole debate was part of a broader attack on evolution by Christian Fundamentalists who are advancing their Creationist agenda in the guise of a less innocuous-sounding faux science called “Intelligent Design.”

Flying Spaghetti Monster
But enough about that; you can hear about that in the “Mainstream Media.” What you haven’t heard about is the more serious decision to actively stifle Pastafarianism, the religious belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Proponents of this theory have recently sent the Kansas School Board an open letter discussing their disappointment over their exclusion from the debate:

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

You should definitely look at the rest of the site, as the conspiracy extends much further. You are probably not aware that “global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.” Think about it!

Obviously, this is not a real religious belief (yet) but was rather created to highlight the lack of scientific merit in “Intelligent Design.” Thankfully, as demonstrated by several responses from members of the Kansas School Board, not everyone on that board is totally ignorant. Unfortunately, they are in the minority:

Dear Mr. Henderson, Thanks for your message. Thanks for the laugh. Your web site is fascinating. I will add your theory to a long list of alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate. I am practicing how to do this with a straight face which is difficult since it’s such a ridiculous subject; it is also very sad that we are even having the discussion.

I will be one of the four member minority who will be voting against the flawed science standards currently being proposed by the six member majority.
Sincerely, Sue Gamble


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