Operation Incomprehensible Program

The Borowitz Report reports that the U.S. has launched Operation Incomprehensible Program in Iraq:

In an effort to confuse Iraqi insurgents, the Pentagon announced today that the U.S. had begun bombarding insurgent positions with copies of President Bush’s Medicare prescription drug plan.

Defense Secretary [Rumsfeld] said he was hopeful that Operation Incomprehensible Program would leave the Iraqi insurgents totally baffled, but he hinted that the Pentagon had other tactics up its sleeve: “We are fully prepared to bombard them with copies of my press briefings.”

Google Finance

GoogleNews.com reports that Google has launched a beta version of Google Finance. Early reviews of the new site seem to contend that it is not as comprehensive as competing sites like Yahoo!’s, but the way in which stock charts and news are handled is somewhat unique. Stock charts are zoomable and scrollable left to right, with hyperlinked news stories attached to the chart when they were issued, showing any effects they had on the stock price. Definitely worth checking out, but for now maybe not yet as good as it could be…

Tom Cruise vs. “South Park”

Tom Cruise - South ParkThere are a couple more developments with respect to my previous post about Isaac Hayes quitting South Park. As some of you may have noticed, the scheduled rerun airing of the controversial South Park episode Trapped In The Closet, which satirized Scientology and Tom Cruise in particular, was preempted with another episode. It is widely rumored that “Tom Cruise threatened to cancel all publicity for Mission Impossible 3 if Comedy Central aired the episode that satirizes Scientology and mocks his sexuality again.” Although Cruise denies this, I can definitely see him doing something like this. In fact, I really think that Tom Cruise got to Isaac Hayes, especially considering the sudden change of heart he seems to have regarding South Park, going from defending the show in January and then abruptly quitting just before the re-airing of the episode.

For their part, South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker issued a somewhat unusual (but hilarious) statement “filled with references to Scientology and the science-fiction writings of church founder L. Ron Hubbard, suggesting Scientology was behind the scheduling change”:

So, Scientology, you have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for Earth has just begun. Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!

Stone and Parker were recently on Late Night With David Letterman, where they also addressed Isaac Hayes’ departure as well as talking about how they came up with South Park; here’s the video.

Tell Comedy Central that you won’t stand for this kind of censorship by signing the Chef Gate Petition:

We, the loyal viewers of television’s South Park, do hereby protest against the removal of the episode “Trapped in the Closet.” We demand that Comedy Central put this episode back on the air and show it as soon as possible: we want everyone, including Tom Cruise, to know that censorship is wrong.

To that effect, we also will refuse to see any movies featuring Tom Cruise, most especially Mission Impossible 3, until this episode is once again shown.

In the meantime, you can view the controversial South Park episode in its entirety at YouTube. I also suggest viewing this Jimmy Kimmel sketch in which Isaac Hayes does the voice of Tom Cruise on Oprah. 🙂

By the way, the South Park Season 10 premiere episode is entitled The Return Of Chef and is set to air Wednesday night, “marking the ‘triumphant homecoming’ of lusty school cafeteria cook James ‘Chef’ McElroy to the show.” I can’t wait… 🙂